Friday, June 13, 2014

A Story about Evolution




Change happens. Instantaneous change can be disorienting – moving to a new house, losing a parent, getting shot. But we are designed to orient to new environments. As a species, our longevity has been marked by a relative adaptability. The place where we were might be forever gone, but we can survive in the now and here. True transformation, however, can take more than we got. Transformation is a miles-long rug continually pulled from underneath you, every adaptation is met with unimagined challenges. And so we fall and roll and run and fall and on and on, gaining only bruises on our limb protrusions.

Gus was an evil-ish sort of man. He’s the kind of guy who will accidentally cut you off in traffic and then continually tap his breaks as he checks his phone. Yet we still might be a little concerned when he found a small growth at the base of his spine this morning. He though it might be a bug bite because he woke up scratching it. The hot shower only aggravated it. He wiped the collected steam of the insufficient mirror, twisted his love handles and squinted at this reddened bump that might have come from a softball-sized mosquito. He decided to show his doctor friend later when they played squash. He hoisted his pants a little high to accommodate the protrusion, squeezed himself into his unfortunately cared for sports car and hurried into stop and go traffic.

10: 38 at the office and Gus hungered for lunch. He became so distracted by the gurgling of his stomach and the blemish on his northern rear end, that he could barely focus enough to steal his co-workers ideas. Sitting had become difficult, so he shifted all his weight onto one buttock and elbow pressed deep into an arm-rest until the left elbow-buttock combo fell asleep and he shifted to the other side. The intervals between shifts lessened. Sweat gathered on his forehead and a swampy pool formed on his lower back. 10:39 – He decided he needed to look at this lump he was now sure was cancer.

In the single stall bathroom, his pants around his ankles, gus pointed his back side at a mirror designed for looking at faces.  Not only had the bulge grown, the skin around had tightened and felt hot to the touch. When he pressed down, it hurt more than anything he could remember, but also felt good, like if he went through the pain he would come out feeling better. So he pushed, eye closed. He pushed even though the sweat rolled pass the impressive eyebrow levies. He pushed even though his fingers felt slippery with grease. He pushed even though there was the faint metal hint of blood in the air. He pushed until release! He couldn’t be sure if he felt better, just different, the acute pressure had been replaced by a general soreness. And in his hand he felt a strange object, still attached to the base of his spine. He cracked open his eyes, unprepared for the mess and what was without a doubt a curly pigs tail.

Gus would not be able to properly say how long he stared at himself under the unflattering bathroom light. He also remembered someone knocking on the door, which he must have retroactively imagined to explain the racing of his heart. He barely managed to pull his clothes to an approximation of their position, but was able to make it home on Autopilot calling his doctor friend the entire time. Most likely his calls weren’t received because he usually whiled away pre-squash hours by making sports related telephonic insults he could not back up with action. He double locked the door after entering his apartment. He decided he should call the doctor on his home phone, when his phone rang.
Gary! he answered You need to come over right away!
A woman was on the other line.
Gus? Where are you?
Charlene, who worked in the cubical next to his.
We rescheduled this meeting just for you.
I- he began but started coughing.
This is twice now. There is no reason-
He continued coughing.
Are you okay?
He tried to say I’m fine, but instead continued coughing. And then wet himself. Gus had never been good at panicking. So instead he just stood there. Minutes passed.

Gus? What’s going on?

He felt something odd in the back of his pants and instinctively shook his leg to get it out. A pink pigs tail dropped from the cuff of his pants. Relief washed over him. He cleared his throat and spoke confidently into the phone.
Now, Charlene…

He stopped himself short. The voice which emerged from his lips sounded exactly like his mothers.